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Untitled for 12/09/06
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Leave. Over. Gone. | Written By: P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Whatever. | written by: P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Just When | written by: P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Twisted | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Drift, Drift off. | Written by: P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Evil Cashier | Written P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Diva | Written by P.A.Jervis, Jr.
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Understand Who? | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Small Things | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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I Will Be Happy | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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Please Don't Touch
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What I Really Feel.
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I am a FAKE | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.
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BLACK AND WHITE LOVE
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1-2 PUNCH.. KICK YO ASS COS YOU THINK I AM A JOKE!
1-2 PUNCH.. KICK YO ASS COS YOU THINK I AM A JOKE! - wake up at six thinking that i had to do something at six but can't remember what it is that i was going to do. overall a positve day i think. the 'okay' (remix) by nivea sounds like a mix of mariah carey's 'butterfly' and 'breakdown'. >>
SUNDAY'S ARE MADE FOR MOTHAFUCKIN' PROMO
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Feeling the Need | Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr
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I Believe | Written by P.A. Jervis Jr.
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starting to feel it
posted on
09 December 2006 at
4:16 PM MST
So you come from some where else and miss up my groove.
So now I have to bust a move.
Sharp upper cut of words
And a slice of I don't give a anymore.
I breathe a sigh of relief when you aren't around
I can't stand your ass.
So you come from some place and take over and say what I can and can't do with my money and my things.
So now I have to show you that you've missed with the wrong person.
Sharp left hook to show you what it's all about
And just because it doesn't work your way doesn't mean it's not going to work at all.
I breathe a sigh and can't wait until your gone and you aren't around
I can't stand your ass.
I can't believe the that I put up with for you. Drive me crazy.
Deal with it? Is that what you said? Well deal, with the you might cause yourself if you don't leave me alone.
So now, I must knock you out because
You don't know what I am about.
0 comments
posted on
Dear Journal,
I woke up this morning feeling like the world could not bring on the day any quicker. It was the same old routine and I just didn't want to deal with it.
The people and their noises and complaints about how things aren't right.
And even after you try to fix them.. just things to continue to be so bright.
Bring on the pain, hassle and the lack of charm that these days ahead seem to bring.
I can't breathe the negativity that grabs the air and leaves me fall deep in .
0 comments
posted on
19 September 2006 at
1:05 PM MST
You are definitely the loser this time.
I can't believe that I stood around for such a long time, waiting
Wishing and telling people that I was totally devoted to you
I had my heart all broken because I thought that you were going to be there for me.
In the end it turns out the that your fat ass got me used.
You took advantage of me.
You took advantage of my trust, my heart.
Never again will I let you in
Will ever trust the way that I did the first time that I met you
I can't believe that.
You shout, you yell that I am the one that is selfish and unwilling.
You are the one talking mess. I will never let you in.
I am scared. Terrified to let things be the way that they are.
I can't let anyone .. the same way.
Leave. Over. Gone.
You. Peace. Gone.
0 comments
posted on
10 September 2006 at
12:51 PM MST
Whatever.
You hurt me.
You expected me to stay around.
Cry my tears
Give all my fears
And lay them on the table for you.
Whatever.
You hurt me
You cut me from within
Trashed my heart
Left my soul a mess
No where to run. No where to go.
Whatever.
I cried so many tears.
I cried and cried like that was going to bring you back
I longed for your touch and you told me just to move on.
I cried like it would make you change your mind
Then something happened. You seemed not so interested.
You said there was possibilities.
Whatever.
I am done.
I am gone.
Forever.
0 comments
posted on
Just when I thought that the world was falling out behind me.
Someone rescued me. Someone saved me from myself.
I went through a painful fall.
I fell and hit the floor and never thought that I would make it over.
I went through a painful fall.
I gained more strength from the pain that you cause me to have.
Just when I thought that there was no more for me to do.
When I thought that there was no more people to love.
Suddenly, you arrive to rescue me.
I am learning to control myself.
I am learning that I have to be considerate of others
I am learning that in order for people to love me. I have to love them, as well as myself.
I am growing into a person that I never thought that I would be.
I am stressing and learning what it takes to be man.
Just when I thought it was over, it was just beginning.
When I thought that I would just end all and be selfish, I learned that there was more to life.
Suddenly, I see the light, the peace, the love.
0 comments
posted on
26 June 2006 at
3:11 PM MST
Twisted.
Gone, you are.
Here, there.
Can't see
Can't breathe
Can't believe that this is happening to me
Twisted.
Nothing is going in the direction
That I expected it to be
No room to be me.
Can't see
I am blind
I am blind to the feeling of love
I over look it.
I'm scared that it my disappear before my eyes.
Twisted.
Gone, you are.
Here, there.
0 comments
posted on
30 April 2006 at
10:20 PM MST
Drift, drift off
Into my own little dream world
With fairies and their accompanying dust
Making all my dreams and fantasies come true
Drift, drift off
Into a place of a thousand things
That make me happy and never bring sadness
Making all my dreams and fantasies come true
Drift, drift off
Into a place of sadness and illness
That make me cry and wish better for the people
Making all my nightmares and horrid visions come true
Drift, drift off
Into a darkness and fright
That makes me look over my shoulder
Making all my nightmares and horrid visions come true
Awake, awake
I've never fallen asleep
I've been living in this
Trying to survive this.
0 comments
posted on
10 April 2006 at
10:34 PM MST
Today was a good day.
It was the splendid, the best of days but it worked itself out.
I spent lots of time doing something that I don't really like do.
Feeling the need to rest, to calm down.. to stop rushing to eager demands
the not so patient humane society.
Down on my knees
I give my confessions of all the sinful thoughts that I thought
of all the customers that thought were either too slow and
didn't move as fast as I wanted them to
Or the fourth million customer that asked me where something was for the fourth million time.
And the after thoughts, the rage that surged through me
Making me seem like such an evil person that's consumed his soul into death and killing
and never taking in the spirit of the kind, loving and truthful.
So count my blessings and pray that I move on to receive more.
For tomorrow could be taken from me and I could lose my understanding
My way, my life, my soul and not understand what's going on.
0 comments
posted on
06 April 2006 at
8:32 AM MST
Diva, diva struck a pose
Diva, diva
Stuck up her nose
For she knew that she was the best
And there was no competion from the rest
Diva, diva strike a pose
Diva, diva
Superb is what she is and everyone knows
For she has worked hard in reaching such
High status
Ha ha ha. Let them laugh at us.
For it is them that will be covered at the bottom with
Dust and rust.
So.
Diva, diva strike a pose.
Diva, diva
We all have a chance to stick up our noses.
For we are divas ourselves
In our own live diva realms
Fetching and sending people off to do things for us.
So.
Diva, diva strike a pose
Diva, diva
Lovely and gentle as a rose.
0 comments
posted on
22 March 2006 at
8:31 AM MST
I am trying to understand who?
Who is me? and
Am I Who I think I am and
What Who should be?
Do I have a clear understanding of who I am?
Who I am supposed to be?
Or am I confused on the whole Who issue?
Am I understanding clearly that the Who that you want me to be
.. should be part of the majority?
Or is it cooler to stand out and be the Who that lives freely but
.. ends up getting bashed and insulted for thinking than the Who majority?
Is it me that believes something differently?
Or am I just like every other Who that walks and talks the streets?
And I am Who I thought I, the Who, that's solely confused on Who I should be.
Living life, without Who liberty.
Or is their Who liberty involved.
I don't know which Who to turn to for answers
But will another Who know? Or are they Who's that are just as confused as me?
0 comments
posted on
Small things that run on and on in my mind
Small things that take their time and kill me softly
The small things that tick and tock
and find their ways to drive me absolutely crazy
Small things that run on and on in my mind
The small things that remind me of one thing
And that lead to another small thing that
Also runs freely through my mind
Sometime colliding with another thing
And almost leading to another
Small thing that takes it's time and kills me softly
A few taps here, a few ticks there and few trickles of frustration
Leading me on to believe that everything is okay
So I ignore it with no hestitation
Until I start to hear...
The small things that tick and tock
and find their ways to drive me absolutely crazy
Because I didn't dare pay any mind the the small things
It's clear
It's the little things, the small things that I fear
Because it's the small things that lead to the big things
That break me down,
in shame
unglorified
unworthy
and leave me with nothing.
So yeah,
It's the small things that run on and on in my mind
The small things that take their time and try killing me softly
It's the small things that go tick and tock
that I have to take the time to listen to or else
they will drive me absolutely crazy.
0 comments
posted on
27 October 2005 at
2:40 AM MST
Am I ever going to be the person that I show myself to be
I am I going to smile and glam and shine like those people that show their faces on TV
Will I appear as a leading edge and be the best at what I can be?
Tonight you pushed my envelope
And I don't know who to be, who I am.
Tonight you pushed me too far.
I have to let go and find away to something
Peaceful, something good and nourishing to me.
I've cried my tears.
I will fall into far depression and shall bounce back soon.
Please I will discover who I am, who I want myself to be
I will be happy.
0 comments
posted on
18 October 2005 at
8:42 AM MST
Please be gentle with me.
You can touch me gently and caress me
Please be careful with me.
I'll let you touch me intimately and satisfy me
Please don't touch me.
My heart has been broken way to many times.
Please don't touch me
I've cried too many times that the rivers run jealous
Please don't touch me
Don't give your love and then run off with it
Leaving me empty.
Please don't touch me.
Please me gentle with me.
0 comments
posted on
13 October 2005 at
1:38 AM MST
My name is Patrick. This is how I really feel. Today.
I really feel that I want to run into someone that can pay attention to me.
I want someone that will pamper me and let me put my feet up.
I really feel that I need someone to hold on to in the middle of the night.
This is how I really feel. Today.
I feel that I am always just a little too late, someone's always beating me to the punch.
I am always running a little behind catching on to what's new and what's great, just a little too late.
I am fascinated by what people feel is yesterday's news and it's hard for me to move on when I am still just a little attached to yesterday.
Today.
I ran into a stranger that changed my life with just the innocence that I felt from their smile.
I felt that I was living life all wrong without them and that they would show me right.
I am sad to say that I was wrong. They've turned their back and left me here, cold.
My name is Patrick. This is how I really felt. Today.
0 comments
posted on
16 August 2005 at
3:10 PM MST
I don't ever remember ever feeling so empty
So EMPTY and ALONE
The feeling of being unforgiven, of being misled
For I have never felt like I need to cry for anyone
Now I feel the need to cry for myself.
The need to be learn who I am and why I am not happy.
Daddy, never taught me how to be a stronger man
All the people I knew told me to hide my feelings
To suck up the sadness and move on
I think it's time that I stopped try to being someone that I AM NOT
I am truly am the most FAKE PERSON that I've ever met in my life.
I AM A FAKE, a waste of life.
A waste of breath, a waste of space and time
I shouldn't even exist.
Break my heart and mash me to pieces
I am about to show you the real me the new me
I need someone to love me
All they need to see is the REAL me.
That's why the run away because I am such a FAKE
Unreal, so UNREAL that's they can see right through me.
0 comments
posted on
29 July 2005 at
12:16 AM MST
BLACK AND WHITE LOVE(written P.A. Jervis, Jr.)
I share my love, I share my heart
I give it all.. I fall apart
You said that you were going to be my everything
I now see that nothing last forever
I see now that you were just a liar
You said that you were going to fulfill my every need
I have very few desires and wants
I have the heart bigger than anyone's ever known
You took advantage of it and crush my hope, desire
I cried tears once in your name
I cried tears twice in your name
You never called to make sure that I am okay
I know that I could never love you anyway
I know that I deserve something so much better than you've ever been to me
You can go ahead and keep living life miserably
I will keep on keeping on
I will find true love or will true love find me
You are the one that's going to be lonely and in need
I am moving on
I am moving on, strong at that
You are weak and I am strong, for this my last goodbye and you must be gone
0 comments
posted on
03 July 2005 at
10:33 PM MST
+ wake up at 7:00ish, realizing that i do have to go to work today.. wishing that i could have slept in.
- waking up realizing that i am feeling lonely like first thing in the morning
+ check email and stuff and realize that I don't have anything waiting from me, but still waiting for an email from my professor about my homework
+ work at 8:00ish, realizing that checkouts are today.. yay!
- called jp and realized that i was covering for her
+ worked from 8a-6p. I guess that's okay.. people work that everyday.
+ sunday artists promo is b. a. c. k.
+ a visit from a friend on wheels hehe
+ sweet and nice text messages from someone special
+ *whisper* 'are you at work?' 'D A M N why you working so long on a S U N D A Y!?'
+ interesting checkin's and meeting new people.. yay!
+ worked on my sites... most of them anyway.
+ found myself on google.. or kamil did under 'patrick jervis' .. does that mean i'm famous?
+ from blonde to burnette but still act like a blond.. hitting heads on sinks.. mad awesome.. >D u O n K< LOL:happy:
+ text messages still coming.. awwwh
+ chinese food..thanks lady L.
+ i think i owe lady L like five mil. in like dinners
+ call from someone special :happy:
- my apartment smells like cigs.. either chris is smoking in the apartment (i doubt) or the fat fucks upstairs are smoking in their apartment and it's coming through the vents somehow (which i don't doubt and don't appreciate!)
0 comments
posted on
SUNDAY'S ARE MADE FOR MOTHAFUCKIN' PROMO
(++ sunday artists promo)
Yeah buddy, I was doing this on MySpace for awhile, then I stopped. I don't do it as much but I think I am going to start doing again. I pick three musical artists that have stuck out in my mind during the week. Sometime I promote them twice..some just once. So here are my choices for the week:
If you are a solo artist or have a band send me your info and I'll include you in the Sunday Artists Promo
0 comments
posted on
Feeling the Need
(written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.)
On this day I woke up with the strong feeling
The feeling of need, the need to have someone
Near to me to hold me, to tell me that everything was all rightTo tell me that everything will work out just fine
To bring happiness to my world after it's been so damaged by others
I am feeling the need
To help other people with their relationships
But I can't seem to get my own off the ground
I can't even get one going with it losing control
And falling apart and earning the role of victim
Because the person decides to leave
I just woke up today feeling just a little underappreciatedA little unwanted, not needed at all
I am not begging for anyone's sympathy,
I am just asking for you to relate to this feeling
This feeling of need, to feel the warmth of someone's arms around youAs you watch reruns of your favorite show or you go to the movies andWatch your favorite movie of romance or action/thriller
I have had the feeling of need beforeFor I thought that I had this need fulfilled but the person that claimed
To be there for me loved another and I couldn't share this heart with another lover
Then I suddenly felt the need of unwantedness
The tears began to rush as I saw that he was happier with someone else than he was with me
Suddenly I thought I was free
But I wasn't
I had returned to the land of silence and loneliness
In returned the feeling that left me
The feeling of need, the feeling to be held in the middle of the night when fear kept me awake
I strong feel the need to be needed by another
As I watched other couples today, even some of them going through their struggles
Even some of them going through their painThey had this sense of need that lie in between, something that kept them together
This shone bright, from their smiles and they way they looked at each other
The glare was so bright and made me feel the feeling of need
I am feeling the need to belong to one
To belong one who will be faithful and make things last
Who will bring sunshine into my cloudy and saddened world
A world that has been destroyed that thought they could feel the need
That I once had and continue to linger on with.
Soon, I hope, the feeling of need will bring the feeling of love
And I will feel the lonely no more.
0 comments
posted on
01 July 2005 at
9:56 PM MST
I Believe
(Written by P.A. Jervis, Jr.)
You finally gave me what I needed
Something that made me feel strong
That made feel that I was living life all wrongThat smile of yours just takes over meBringing all the things that are positive and
Washing clean the negativity that was grabbing on to me
So tight
That I couldn't breath
But now I believe in myselfI realize that you weren't worth crying over
Something that came over me and made me
Realize that I don't need you to survive
Though I wish you were mine
I still believe
In myself and I lost the love for myself
And started depending on you for the emotional support
That I was looking for
But you were never there.. even though you tried so hard
To act as though you were the perfect one for me
You left me feeling lonely all in the end
Left me to struggle
And find out what it was that I really believed in
I believe that there is one life to live and I can't waste it in sorrow
I believe that you were a good thing for me in the beginning but then it turned sourI believe that you are no longer the best thing for me and that I need to stop worrying about if you think of me and if you are ever going to come back to meI believe that I need to let go of the negative memories and remember the positive and grow in other relationships but remember to never do the same things or make the same mistakes again.
I believe
That when I talk to you and you've got this enthusiasm about another like you never had for meI should be happy for you and let the idea of me and you go
Oh I believe that
I am on my way to find a true happiness in another
On this day I shall rejoice and believe in that lover
And pray that they will not leave me for another
And that this love will last forever
Oh this is what I believe
0 comments
posted on
24 June 2005 at
7:32 PM MST
today i thought of you
the feel of your hand
the look that you gave me dinner
something doesn't feel right
the more i think of you
the more i worry about losing you
i've just met you but i am so worried about losing you
i know that we don't know each other that well
but i want to and i want you to give me a chance
and how far we can go
with this relationship
i hope that you haven't given up on me
today i honestly did think of you
and have missed the feel of your hands on my back
the kiss of your lips and the smile you give after a kiss
something's just got me worried
like something is missing or i messing up like i am not
doing something right.
something making me feeling empty
i wish that didn't worry so much cause we've only been going on for about a week
but my emotions have already began to twist and turn
and i am scared.. i don't know of what
i am afraid of getting my heart broken
my feelings getting taken from me
the depression that follows after finding a good thing
i am just worried and scared.
i'll just sit back and hope that you are ok and that
i am just over reacting, which i hope that i am
cause i think i am starting to feel somethings...
0 comments